Past, Present and a Future (Going Back) Read online

  At the end of Main Street, she made a left into the older, residential area where Laura and Dave lived. When Clare was a teenager, she had often walked these streets, wondering what treasures or secrets the grand three-story Victorian homes contained. Set far back on manicured lawns, their elegant verandas and etched-glass front doors had symbolized an era and social class far beyond Clare and her circle of friends.

  The neighborhood, known as Riverside Park, had housed the descendants of the town founders, the original settlers who had parlayed their pioneering skills into commercial ventures that became the backbone of the town’s economy. After the Second World War, the population of Riverside Park had swelled as sons and daughters returned with their young families for a simpler way of life.

  Clare’s and Laura’s parents were among those who had purchased a postwar bungalow on the outskirts of the town near the highway leading to larger urban areas where many found work. Clare realized that the tract of homes where she grew up—the first subdivision in Twin Falls—must have been met with the same concern by the residents of Riverside Park as she had just felt driving by the new homes on the other side of the bridge.

  It was funny, Clare thought, that although she’d spent so many years of her adolescence fantasizing about what went on behind those etched-glass doors, it was Laura—who had always vowed to leave Twin Falls—who eventually moved into one of the stately homes. But Clare could hardly complain. Those same fantasies had inspired her to write the novels that were earning her a living.

  As she drove along the street memories flooded her mind. There was the house once owned by the town’s doctor and somewhere in the same block—she couldn’t recall the number—was the former mayor’s home. Judging from the sight of extra meter boxes attached to the sides of some of the homes, there had been a shift from single dwellings to apartments.

  The size of the homes diminished slightly as she neared the end of Riverside Drive. Clare slowed down, looking for Elmwood Drive, the side street where Laura and Dave lived. She hung a right and scanned the front doors for number fifty-four. It was midway along the street, and there was a free parking space right in front. Clare eased into it, turned off the engine and sat for a minute, studying the house.

  It was a two-story fieldstone with a small veranda—more modest than the grander homes closer to the center of town, but impressive all the same. Its wood trim had been painted a dove gray that complemented the stone of the exterior. A latticed trellis, painted the same color, was attached to one of the veranda’s fieldstone pillars and a thick climbing rose, now boasting clusters of rosehips, spread up and across it. Small clumps of evergreen shrubs filled the gap between veranda and lawn in front of the house.

  Clare stared at the glow of lamplight in the front bay window. She inhaled deeply, grabbed hold of the car door and pushed it open. No turning back now.

  The front door of the house had been flung open by the time Clare had walked up to the sidewalk and Laura was bounding down the veranda steps. She scarcely had a chance to look at her friend before she was enveloped in a bear hug. Then they stood back and smiled at one another.

  “You look fabulous,” Clare said. “I would never believe you’ve just had a baby. Have you got highlights in your hair?”

  “Yes. Like it?” Laura executed a dainty pivot. Her honey-blond hair was cut in a shoulder-length bob that swirled around her.

  “I do! You look great!”

  “You have to say that because you’re my friend, but thanks anyway.” Laura’s cheeks dimpled. “Thank goodness for makeup and that stuff that covers up dark circles under the eyes. But look at you! That flaming red hair will never need highlights. You’ve cut it since I last saw you. I like it.”

  “I cut it a while ago, but I haven’t seen you in ages.”

  “True. Come on, Dave’s opening a bottle of wine. I may even get a chance to gobble down dinner before Emma’s next feeding.”

  “How’s the nursing going?”

  “Better. It’s weird, isn’t it? That something so natural should be so damn hard at first?”

  Clare smiled. No doubt her friend was tackling motherhood with the same zeal that she’d shown on the cheerleading squad. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” was all she said as she walked arm in arm with her up the steps.

  Dave greeted them in a small entrance hall. “Congratulations,” he said, hugging Clare. “At last we know someone famous.”

  Clare felt the color rise into her face. “Yeah, right,” she quipped and they all laughed. As teenagers, Laura and Clare had made a bet to see who would become rich and famous enough to move away from Twin Falls. Little did we know, Clare thought, that moving away required neither fame nor money.

  “I like the goatee,” she said, smiling at Dave.

  “Laura hates it, but thanks.” He shot his wife a told-you-so look that had a tinge of reproof in it.

  Clare glanced at Laura’s red face. There was an awkward moment that Laura broke by asking, “Do you want to refresh or something?”

  “No, I’m fine. I stopped a few miles outside of town for a break.” Clare followed Laura into a large living room. “This is lovely,” she said. “You’ve done a wonderful job, Laura.”

  “Sit here, it’s the most comfy chair.” She gestured to a plump chintz-covered armchair next to a sofa where she herself perched.

  “Are things okay between you and Dave?” Clare asked as soon as they sat down.

  Laura gave her a reassuring smile. “Don’t be alarmed by the sniping you just witnessed. It’s the usual husband-and-wife tension after the first child.”

  “I would’ve thought a baby would bring you closer.”

  “She has, but there are other things. Dave isn’t happy with his work and we’ve taken a real pay cut since I decided to stay at home with Emma for a while.”

  “Are you getting any help from your folks?”

  “They’re living on a fixed income now so…”

  “How are they, anyway?”

  “Good. They sold their house last year and moved into a new condo on the edge of town.”

  “Condos? God, I can’t believe how much this place has changed.”

  “Believe it. Did you notice the subdivision as you came in?”

  “Yes! And is it my imagination, or are there twice as many cars on the road?”

  “Twin Falls is becoming one of those satellite communities you read about. People working in Hartford want to live in a rural environment.” She laughed. “Can you believe it? Twin Falls as a rural environment? Remember how we used to make fun of the farm kids who were bused into school?”

  Laura glanced toward the doorway. “Dave must be checking on dinner.” She leaned toward Clare. “Your book is fantastic, Clare. I’m almost finished it. But I have to tell you, everyone’s been talking about it.” She paused a beat. “You know.”

  “Know what?”

  “C’mon Clare. This is me, Laura. You don’t have to play dumb. It wasn’t very hard to figure out you were writing about Twin Falls. I mean, except for the description of the town and the name changes, it’s all there.”

  Clare glanced toward the entrance hall, wishing Dave would appear with their drinks. She’d known this moment was going to happen but trust Laura to get to it right away. “It’s not a secret that some of it is gleaned from here.”

  “But how did you get the nerve? I mean, when you and your mother moved away, you swore to put everything behind you.”

  “We both know that none of us can really forget what happened, Laura.”

  “Well, I have. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to live here.”

  “I wondered about that. But then, you weren’t really involved—” Clare broke off when Dave, carrying a tray of glasses and a wine bottle, appeared in the doorway. To her relief, Laura let the subject drop as well, and they made small talk—catching up on the events of the past two years—until dinner.

  When dinner was ready, Clare sat at the dining-room ta
ble. She watched Dave and Laura bustle back and forth from the kitchen, realizing that she’d never seen Laura in such a domestic context. After high school, they’d gone on to different colleges and settled in different states, keeping sporadic contact with one another via telephone or e-mail. There was a time, Clare thought with some chagrin, when the idea of her best friend cooking a roast-beef dinner with all the trimmings would have amazed her. And, added to this surprising picture of domesticity, was the whole new dimension of motherhood.

  A sense of being left behind swept over Clare. She had other friends who were married with children, but none who shared the bond of childhood and adolescence with her. Her friendship with Laura had not been a perfect one, but it had been constant.

  Clare was thrilled to see Laura with a new baby and a husband who adored her, but the blissful scene made her own personal life seem so bleak. There was no special man in the picture, much less the prospect of a husband. As for babies…well, maybe in the distant future. Perhaps her life might have followed the same track as Laura’s if only she and Gil Harper had not broken up. That sudden thought made her feel even worse.

  “Dave, can you bring the veggies?” Laura stood in the doorway of the dining room, calling back into the kitchen.

  Clare fixed a cheerful smile on her face, and asked, “Are you sure I can’t help with anything?”

  Laura continued on into the room and set a platter of roast beef on the table. “Thanks hon, but we’re fine. Just plain food tonight, but tomorrow we’ve got a sitter and reservations at the hot new place in town.”

  “You mean there’s another ‘in’ place besides The Falls Steak and Grill?”

  Laura smiled. “Thank goodness. Twin Falls can now boast a three-star restaurant. It’s called Serendipity and the food’s wonderful.”

  “I hope you’re going to let me treat.”

  “We’ll discuss that later,” Laura said, sitting down across from Clare. Dave returned with the vegetables and began to carve the roast.

  Clare stared at her two old friends, feeling she’d been pulled back to her adolescence and another Sunday dinner with Laura’s family. An only child, the split-up of Clare’s parents and subsequent divorce had been tough. But her friendship with Laura and her acceptance in the Dundas household had been a comforting refuge from loneliness.

  During dinner Laura and Dave filled her in on the changes in town and Clare recounted the story—now oft repeated—of her latest book and its huge success. Dave was in the kitchen making coffee when Clare asked, “Has he made up his mind yet about the godfather?”

  Laura didn’t answer at first. She cocked her head and frowned. “I think I hear Emma.”

  At the same time, Dave poked his head through the kitchen doorway. “I hear Emma on the intercom.”

  Laura jumped up. “I’ll be back after I’ve changed and fed her, Clare. And you’re not to do any dishes. Not tonight, anyway.” She smiled, stooped for a quick hug and dashed from the room.

  Clare waited a few more seconds, then got up and began clearing the rest of the dishes. After she and Dave had retreated to the living room with coffee, Laura brought in the baby, holding her proudly in front of Clare.

  “This is Emma, your goddaughter.”

  Clare peered down into the small pink face. “She’s so cute! And she’s going to be a blonde I bet.”

  “That’s what we think. Dave’s hair was pretty fair until he was in high school and even though I give mine some help, my natural color’s sort of what they call dishwater blond.”

  “I never could figure out what that was supposed to mean. Any dishwater I always saw was gray.”

  Laura giggled. “Anyway, she hasn’t got enough hair yet to tell for certain.”

  “I don’t know much about babies, but isn’t it too soon to predict hair and eye color?”

  “Want to hold her?”

  “Oh, well…”

  “Come on, don’t be scared. Just hold out your arms and I’ll tuck her into them.”

  Clare leaned against the back of the chair. She didn’t really want to hold the baby, who seemed awfully small, but suspected such feelings were inappropriate for a godmother. Still, the soft bundle wrapped in a fleecy blanket was surprisingly solid. Emma’s dark blue eyes stared unblinkingly up into Clare’s face.

  “Feels good, doesn’t it?”

  Clare looked up and grinned at Laura. “Feels different. Warm. And nice, too.” But she was ready to hand her back and when Emma scrunched up her tiny face, Clare quickly passed her over to Laura. Then she remembered the question she’d asked earlier. “So Dave, who did you finally decide on for godfather?”

  Dave and Laura exchanged a look. “I had a heck of a time,” Dave began. “Mainly because my good buddy from college is over in Afghanistan right now, so that ruled him out. Then I was going to go with Cal Rubens. Remember him?”

  Clare shook her head.

  “He was a year ahead of me at Twin Falls High. He runs a health-food store. I left work early today to ask him, but on the way I happened to bump into someone I haven’t seen in a long time.” Dave leaned forward on his chair. “I want you to know, Clare, that this was a completely impulsive and last-minute decision on my part. I’m not as organized about these things as Laura is.”

  “So who is he? Is he coming to dinner tomorrow night?”

  “I’ve asked him, but he wasn’t sure. He…uh, said he would pop around tonight though.”

  “And his name—?” Clare smiled wishing Dave would get to the point.

  As if on cue, the doorbell rang, setting Emma into a wail. Dave jumped up and headed for the front hall while Laura walked back and forth, patting Emma on the back. Clare heard the low rumble of male voices.

  Dave came back into the room an anxious expression on his face. Behind him stood the last person on earth Clare wanted to see in Twin Falls.

  CHAPTER TWO

  THE SAME, yet different. That much registered for Clare in the next five seconds as she stared at Gil Harper.

  He had already reached his growth potential of six-two seventeen years ago, but he’d been almost eighteen then—lanky and loose-limbed in scruffy Levis and bulky sweatshirts. This Gil with his broader shoulders, wearing pressed jeans, a denim shirt and a black leather jacket, looked like a candidate for GQ’s Man of the Year award.

  His charcoal-gray eyes stayed on Clare a moment longer before turning their gaze to Laura who was hovering at his left with Emma. He murmured a greeting and peered down at the baby in her arms. “This is the famous Emma, I presume.” He gave the baby a tentative smile, but his attention quickly shifted back to Clare. She rose unsteadily from the armchair.

  “Hello, Gil.”

  “Clare,” he said with a formal nod. “You’ve changed as much as the rest of us, I see. Your hair’s shorter.”

  “It’s been a while,” she said, wondering if her voice sounded as peculiar to everyone else as it did to her at that moment.

  “Would you like a brandy, Gil? Clare?” Dave asked.

  “I…uh, really can’t stay long,” Gil said.

  “I’ll have one,” Clare said. A large one.

  “Glass of milk for me, please,” said Laura. “Surely you can stay long enough for a drink, Gil? At least until we go over the plans for Sunday.”

  He shrugged. “Okay, then.”

  Dave gestured to the couch, next to Clare’s chair. “Have a seat, Gil. I’m sure you and Clare have a bit of catching up to do. Laura, want to help me in the kitchen?”

  Laura took the hint and, with the baby, followed Dave from the room. Clare remained standing until she accepted the fact that she hadn’t fallen asleep after dinner and awakened in a bad dream. Gil Harper wasn’t going to vanish before her eyes no matter how much she wished he would. She sat on the edge of the chair, ready to bolt if necessary.

  He loomed in front of her a fraction longer before sitting on the couch. She watched him from the corner of her eye, noting from the rigid way he perched that he w
as just as uncomfortable as she was.

  “I assume this has caught you by surprise, too,” she said.

  “Definitely. As a matter of fact, I was asked to be godfather at two o’clock this afternoon when I met Dave on Main Street.”

  “Same old Dave.”

  “Apparently.”

  He shifted on the couch turning toward her. “Congratulations on your new book.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I just finished it. Very…gripping,” he said, after a slight pause.

  “You bought a copy?”

  “Of course. I have your first one, too—Frankie and Me. I liked it very much. You always had promise as a writer.”

  “Inspired by English class with Miss Stuart.”

  He smiled for the first time. “Yes. I wonder if she’s still teaching.”

  “Hmmm.” Clare wished Dave and Laura would return so they could make plans for Sunday and she could leave.

  “I hope you understand that I had no idea you were even in Twin Falls,” he went on. “I just got here myself a couple of days ago to clear out my dad’s house.”

  “Has your father moved into a retirement home?”

  “No, he…uh, he died of a stroke about three weeks ago.”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry, Gil. And your mother?”

  “Heart attack, five years ago. How about your folks?”

  “Mom’s in New Jersey with her second husband. Dad’s still in California with his second or third wife. Can’t recall which.”

  “Your mother remarried? Good for her.”

  Clare thought back to the day four years ago when her mother called to announce her upcoming marriage to someone she’d met only a year before. She’d been surprised at the news and at first, had tried to persuade her mother to simply move in with the man.

  “I’m still an old-fashioned woman, Clare,” her mother had said. “And this is the time of my life when I need companionship more than ever. Besides, the fact is, I love Hank.”